MILWAUKEE, WI - A groundbreaking new study conducted by Howyflyl University focuses for the first time on the plight of white people in America. The University also produced a training video, to raise awareness of the little known hardships of everyday life for Caucasian-Americans
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DETROIT, MI - General Motors intends to create a new auto division as part of its plan to avoid Chapter 11 bankruptcy, according to sources inside the company. The division will focus on the production of wind hybrids - a new, yet unproven technology that combines wind power, battery operated electrical motors and
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HOLLYWOOD, CA - Scott Macintyre, the latest contestant to leave American Idol, reportedly was blindsided by Wednesday evening's voting results. Inside sources say the performer was particularly annoyed that he was eliminated after heeding the judges advice
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CHARLOTTE, NC - The annual nationwide search for America's favorite local television news personality has resulted in a championship for a North Carolina anchorwoman. Morgan Fogarty, of WCCB FOX Charlotte won Info Babe Madness 2009, narrowly defeating defending champion Kim Fischer of WOAI in San Antonio for the title
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PASADENA, CA - Scientists at the Jet Propulsion Laboratory released data today indicating an unmistakable cooling trend during 'Earth Hour'. The event, in which citizens voluntarily shut off unnecessary lights and appliances for one hour, was held to raise awareness
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LOS ANGELES, CA - ASM, makers of the wildly poular Snuggie, has announced a new product line to appeal to a more cosmopolitan market. The company plans to introduce the Urban Snuggie at a trade show next week here in Los Angeles.
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DANA POINT, CA - Members of the competition committee here at the NFL owner's meeting have voted to adopt OSHA standards into the official rulebook. Inspectors from the workplace safety organization will be invited to all NFL
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TAMPA, FL - Former vice president Al Gore today demanded a recount in the recently completed Info Babe Madness 2009 tournament. The annual competition to find America's favorite local television news personality concluded with Morgan Fogarty of FOX7 in Charlotte edging out defending champion
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JACKSONVILLE, FL - A mixture of two popular erectile dysfunction medications has lead to the untimely death of a local man. Reginald Grunger, 52, apparently lost his balance and fell off the deck of a cruise ship while vacationing with his wife. Cruise line officials confirmed that Grunger had ingested large amounts of both Viagra and ExtenZe before the accident
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SAN DIEGO, CA - A study conducted by the Food and Drug Administration and Howyflyl University reveals that Quaaludes have proven to be an effective treatment for adult ADHD, and could one day wipe out the dreaded disease
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WASHINGTON, DC - A report by the Education Department may have had a major influence on the decision by Congress to delay the switchover of television signals from analog to digital. The report concluded that anywhere from 10 to 20 million additional babies would be born during the period
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WASHINGTON, DC - The Labor Department today unveiled a new program to help benefit recipients deal with new extended unemployment guidelines. Included in the program is a training video detailing unemployment maintenance techniques.
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WASHINGTON - DC The Department of Education today announced a new program to raise awareness of racial diversity among students. The program, Rap As A Second Language, makes rap music understandable to students from all socio-econimic backgrounds.
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WASHINGTON, DC - Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff announced today that the Wu-Tang Clan has been placed back on the list of terrorist organizations. Wu-Tang leader RZA, a.k.a. Bobby Digital, is known to the FBI as Robert Diggs. Since the Wu's assembly in 1992, RZA has been arming members globally with so-called 'phat beats'.
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NEW YORK, NY - Preliminary data from the United Nation's World Health Organization indicate that 2008 was the deadliest year in history. Worldwide deaths were up a staggering
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ATLANTA, GA - A study commissioned by the Federal Task Force for Religious Intolerance has revealed the startling fact that nearly three out of four Americans do not believe in Atheists. The finding underscores the growing credibility
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