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Dear Raylene,
I just broke up with Cousin Stacy this morning. Is it too early to make a move on Aunt Gretchen?
Signed, All in the Family Guy
Dear Family Guy,
Absolutely not. You need to move on with your life, and so does Cousin Stacy.
Unless Aunt Gretchen is Cousin Stacy's mom, though, then I'm afraid Raylene's two day rule applies. Good luck!
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Dear Raylene,
I have three kids. This year on Father's day, all three of thier daddies will be out on parole, and looking for a place to stay. I'm really stressed out.
What should I do?
Signed, Parole Blues
Dear Blues,
There's no reason for you to be stressed just because those losers are getting kicked out of prison. Pick the one that can get his hands on some money, and turn
the other two in on a parole violation. Then relax!
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Dear Raylene,
My mom won't let me see my boyfriend anymore - just because he shot my sister in the face. He's a really sweet guy though. How can I change my mom's mind?
Signed, Lonely Street
Dear Street,
Maybe your boyfriend should ask your mama how she'd like to be shot in the face. That should warm her up to him.
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Dear Raylene,
I wanted to get my other girlfriend something nice for our one month anniversary, but I spent my paycheck at the dog track. Got any ideas?
Signed, Puppy Love
Dear Puppy,
First of all, tell her you bet on a dog that had the same name as her. That'll help. Then, roll up your racing form, and cut lengthwise halfway down - It makes a nice bouquet.
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