CAMBRIDGE, MA - Sgt. James Crowley, the policeman at the center of Harvard professor Henry Gates' arrest controversy, has issued an official apology nearly two weeks after the incident occurred. In a written statement released through the Cambridge Police Media Office, Crowley admitted
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CHARLOTTE, NC - The annual nationwide search for America's favorite local television news personality has resulted in a championship for a North Carolina anchorwoman. Morgan Fogarty, of WCCB FOX Charlotte won Info Babe Madness 2009, narrowly defeating defending champion Kim Fischer of WOAI in San Antonio for the title
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JACKSONVILLE, FL - A mixture of two popular erectile dysfunction medications has lead to the untimely death of a local man. Reginald Grunger, 52, apparently lost his balance and fell off the deck of a cruise ship while vacationing with his wife. Cruise line officials confirmed that Grunger had ingested large amounts of both Viagra and ExtenZe before the accident
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TALLAHASSEE, FL - In anticipation of another close presidential race in Florida, the Department of State yesterday fired all poll workers statewide named Chad. Department officials, desperately trying to avoid the unacceptable behavior of Chads eight years ago, made the move one day before what is expected to be a record breaking
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TALLAHASSEE, FL - A report issued today by the Department of Education reveals that the expected illiteracy rate among high school graduates will decline significantly this year. This marks the first time in several decades that this benchmark has fallen in two consecutive years. The expected illiteracy rate of 32% is down from 33% last year
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NORFOLK, VA - Ingrid Newberg, executive director of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, faced a chorus of calls for her resignation today as she was engulfed in a meat-eating scandal involving a high-priced butcher.
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LAS VEGAS, NV - Nearly thirteen years after promising to hunt down the real killers of his estranged wife Nicole and her friend Ron Goldman, O.J. Simpson announced today that there has been a breakthrough in his investigation. After sifting through voluminous evidence from his own trial, Simpson has determined that the pair was killed with a large knife.
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RICHMOND, VA - A Circuit Court ruling today has suspended several civil cases involving rubber testicle bumper decorations. The cases were put on hold pending legislation now before the Virginia General Assembly to outlaw the popular accessories. Litigants claim
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MINNEAPOLIS, MN - The debate over new evaluation guidelines continues to intensify after three days of negotiations between the Education Department and the state's largest teachers union. The proposed guidelines are under fire from teachers over the increased emphasis on student performance and the diminished influence of tenure.
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NEW HAVEN, CT - In an effort to recognize the diverse traditions of the holiday season, the City has installed a Festivus pole in the Market Street square. A dedication ceremony is scheduled for Saturday afternoon. With the addition of this new holiday centerpiece, the square is now thought to be the most diverse public display of late fall holiday
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JACKSONVILLE, FL - Reports of vandalism to Christmas decorations involving lighted reindeer continue to mount, according to police records. The Sheriff's Department admits they have very few leads to stem the rising problem. The pranks, occurring in all parts of the city, involve repositioning the reindeer into poses that many residents have found inappropriate.
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MINNEAPOLIS, MN - A sharp decrease in cigarette tax revenue is to blame for this year's budget shortfall, according to city officials. The tax, originally imposed to fund the Theodore Gauss Emphysema Research Center at the University of Minnesota, was doubled last year to supplement
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WATERBURY, CT - A fourth grade Oakville student has been expelled from a Waterbury school for bringing a toy gnu onto the property. The action falls under the school district's 'zero tolerance' policy, according to administrators. Officials believe the student, who is dyslexic, tried to intentionally
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SEATTLE, WA - The City Council has voted unanimously to ban Dick Cheney costumes inside the city limits, citing the likeness as 'too frightening'. The ruling came three days after a traffic incident that involved a male driver wearing the costume, injuring four people. A woman driving alongside claims the sight of the mask caused her to drive into
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RICHMOND, VA - Autopsy records of one on the pit bulls killed in the Michael Vick dog fighting case indicate the animal may have fought back against its handlers. The image of what appears to be the top two joints of a human finger was found on a x-ray of 'Jane'
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