BRUSSELS, BELGIUM - The International Space Nomenclature Council today adopted the term 'emplacements de hauts gravité super' - or 'super high gravity locations' - as the official replacement name for black holes.
Originally named in reference to the fact that light cannot escape their intense gravity, the term 'black hole' was increasingly criticized as being insensitive to African-Americans...
(full story here)
|
RABAT, MOROCCO - Scientists and environmental experts gathered at the World Resource Inventory Summit warned today that the Sahara desert is in jeopardy of running out of sand in the near future. A presentation in the morning session revealed the sobering fact that millions of tons of sand are blown into the Atlantic Ocean each year,
with airborne particles sometimes reaching the Americas.
(full story here)
|
LOS ALAMOS, NM - In a dramatic announcement, scientists revealed the discovery of huge amounts of undetectable matter in the universe. "This discovery is a key element in explaining the nature of the Cosmos" says Ravi Skywalker, lead cosmologist of The Missing Matter Project.
This undetectable matter apparently accounts for a majority of the mass in the universe, and its discovery confirms long held theories of the universe's expansion. "For a long time our theories depended on there being huge amounts of matter in the universe that we have not yet detected"
explains Skywalker. "The fact that this matter is undetectable fits our theories quite well."
(full story here)
|
JUNEVILLE, KS - The science archives of The Daily Redundancy were abducted by a UFO early Monday morning. Officials from the highly regarded cyber newspaper spotted a
strange craft above the rural warehouse and gave chase for nearly three miles. "It looked like the top of a water tower." said a top executive of the paper, who spoke with us
on the condition of anonymity. "We stayed with it for a minutue or two, then it just accelerated at an incredible rate and disappeared. We'll just have to start re-building the archive from scratch."
UFO investigators summoned to the scene were puzzled by the abduction. "It's one thing to take a human or an animal to study." says Chandra Pyramid, Director of Abduction Studies at the nearby Unidentified Flying Object Awareness
Institute. "It's strange that they would want science archives from us, with them being so technically advanced and all."
Officials at the newspaper suspect foul play. "The UFO lady's right." said the top executive, who would still only speak with us on the condition of anonymity. "I don't think an
advanced civilization would want our archives. But one of our rivals sure would." Attorneys for the UFO did not return phone calls placed by The Daily Redundancy.
|
