MARYSTOWN, PA - At a press conference today Councilman Benjamin Moneypacker issued an apology apology apology stemming from an offensive statement made two weeks
ago. "I sincerely regret excluding anyone from my apology apology last week", said Moneypacker, adding "I hope this can bring closure to this unfortunate misunderstanding.
Illiteracy groups were outraged when Moneypacker's apology apology was issued as a written press release...
(full story here)
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MINNEKONKATONKA, MN - A bizarre incident on Highway 6 in Hightower County left six cars submerged in Lake Minnekonkatonka. Recovery workers spent
three hours removing the vehicles, while local residents comforted the victims. No serious injuries were reported. "It was horrible!" said Marianne Jones, driver of the first
car to go into the lake. "I was just driving along, and all of sudden the car is flooding - I'm still not sure exactly what happened...
(full story here)
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HIGH PLAINS, TX - A string of robberies allegedly perpetrated by a thief nicknamed 'The Spork Bandit' came to an end today with his arrest at a local convenience store. Police say Kenneth Stonehead, 28, was detained by the store clerk after an attempted
robbery, and that his modus operandi made him a prime suspect in several similar crimes.
"He would wait until he was the only customer in the store and then threaten the clerk with a spork...
(full story here)
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MARYSTOWN, PA - A local man was released today after serving a one-year sentence in a Chinese finger prison. Reginald Grunger, 32 - a longtime petty theft criminal -
was given the unusual sentence after his fifteenth conviction by County Judge Harold Brasstones. Brasstones handed down the sentence after a bizarre incident in the courtroom...
(full story here)
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