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FOUND - dog collar and tag saying 'reward if found'. Collar and tag OK, dog hit by car. Please send reward. LOST - White and orange dog, 15 years old, very little hair, no tail, grey eyes, answers to the name 'Princess'. Reward for diamond collar. FOUND - A peanut, rotten, etc., etc., Seeking attorney. LOST - small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the family. FOR SALE - Rare collector's guitar, rock memoribilia, once puked on by Courtney Love, $300 FOR SALE - Used Tombstone, perfect for someone named Homer Handelbergenhiezel. Hurry, only one left. FOR SALE - Full size mattress, 20 year warranty, like new, slight urine smell, $50. FOR SALE - Breakfast puppies, $5.99 per pound, very lean. FOR SALE - Modular Sofas. Only $299. For rest or fore play. |
SAIL SALE - 4 sails for sale, all white, Foresail Marine. 1974 PINTO - Orange with black interior - never exploded. $995. FOR SALE - Key collection, 1000's to choose, perfect for lock collector. FOR SALE - Vintage Betamax machine - rarely used. $1000 firm. FOR SALE - 4 20" Rims and 3 19" Tires, like new. $1500 for set. BRICKS FOR SALE - 10 cents each or 9 for $1.00, thousands to choose. CRIME SCENE TAPE - Used, $1.00 per foot. Blood stained extra. FOR SALE - Three canaries of undermined sex, all or nothing sale. FOR SALE - Mickey's Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated? Come here first! AMY'S MART - Christmans tag-sale. Handmade gifts for the hard-to-find person. |
WANTED - Stun room worker, P&H Slaughterhouse. Good pay and free ponchos. BEGGARS NEEDED - Work in the great outdoors, we supply location and sign for 10% of gross. WANTED - Pantyhose crotch closing machine operator, experienced only, fishnet expertise a plus. Myron's Janitorial - Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it. Ed's Country Diner - Dinner Special -- Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00. Harry's Pest Control - Vacation Special: have your home exterminated. Toilet Paper Liquidators - Stock up and save. Limit: one. Chip's Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you'll never go anywhere again. Man, honest. Will take anything. |
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