Mars Lander Discovers Oil

PASADENA, CA - NASA's Phoenix Lander, while searching for frozen water and organic compounds on the Martian surface, discovered today what appears to be crude oil instead. A secondary experiment, built by the Halliburton Corporation and included late in the mission planning, drilled 3 meters into the barren planet to make the find. The discovery, which may be good news for driver's pocketbooks, has some conservation groups crying foul.

"It appears we've been hoodwinked." said Robin Mann, Vice President of the Sierra Club. "If we had known they were planning to drill up there we would have put a stop to it. The Martian environment is so fragile that we're not even sure if it can support life. The last thing we need to do is destroy it for profit." Sierra and other conservation groups recently made plans to have Mars declared a wildlife sanctuary once life was discovered there.

Industry experts say the find may be too late to ease fuel prices by the end of the summer travel season. Although the estimated reserves are believed to be 3 trillion barrels, it may take some time to transport the crude oil to Earth. Halliburton, who gained mineral rights to Mars with a no-bid contract award, plans to begin pipeline construction immediately.

Meanwhile, conservation groups and Martian environmentalists vow to fight further drilling. "It's bad enough we exploit our own planet." said Mann. "Do we have to destroy Mars, too? If we don't make a stand now, the next thing you know they'll be looking for oil on Uranus."

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