BRONX, NY - An investigation into clandestine attempts by the Boston Red Sox to jinx the New York Yankees' new stadium continued to widen today. Evidence has been uncovered that a well-organized plan was in place that included current and former players, and prominent items of memorabilia. It has become apparent that Gino Castignoli, a construction worker who recently admitted to burying a David Ortiz jersey in concrete, has unwittingly exposed the much larger plan.
"We've been putting stuff in that stadium since 2006 - all the way down to the foundations." said and unnamed Red Sox source, who spoke with us on the condition of anonymity. "Fans and players alike have eagerly donated items for a chance to put the curse back on them for a while."
Among many others, items reportedly entombed in the stadium are a cap worn by Carlton Fisk during a fight with Lou Piniella in 1976, Carl Yastrzemski's glove from the 1967 pennant season, the bat used by Tris Speaker to beat the Yankees on opening day of Fenway Park in 1912, and a pair of cleats Jimmy Piersall kicked Billy Martin with during a fight in 1952.
The Yankees' front office vows to remove all the items at any cost. "We'll raze this place to the ground and start all over if we have to." said an angry Hank Steinbrenner, son of longtime Yankees owner George Steinbrenner. "If we can spend $275 million to keep [Alex] Rodriguez for ten years, we'll gladly spend an extra $1 billion to keep them [the Red Sox] from having a jinx on us for the next 86 [years]."
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