Patriots Accuse Dolphins Of Showboating

FOXBORO, MA - The New England Patriots cruised to a 34-13 win over the Pittsburgh Steelers on Sunday to maintain their perfect season at 13-0. They were matched, however, by an equally impressive 38-17 loss by the Miami Dolphins, who are on a quest for a perfect season of their own. Some in New England think their division rivals may be trying to steal some of the thunder from the Pat's record-breaking season.

"They can't possibly be that bad." said one front office executive, who spoke with us on the condition of anonymity. "I also find it hard to believe that they lose by 21 on the same day we win by 21. That can't be a coincidence."

The Dolphins have already clinched at least a tie for last place in the league, and rights to the coveted first pick in next year's draft. But the organization denies being on a quest for a winless season. "That's absolutely absurd." said an unnamed Dolphins executive. "Becoming the first franchise to have undefeated and winless seasons - a record that would probably stand for decades - has never crossed our minds."

Conspiracy or not, experts say that people are probably more interested in Miami going winless than New England going undefeated. "Deep down, people hate winners." said James Finnigan, professor of Sports Psychoanalysis at Howyflyl University. "But everyone can identify with a loser - and hey, perfection is perfection."

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