Health Officials Brace For The Super Duper Bug

ATLANTA, GA - Officials at the Centers for Disease Control today issued a warning for the possible outbreak of a new strain of virus dubbed the 'super-duper bug'. The new virus was detected in the brainstem of a lemur on a small island off the coast of Madagascar. Disease experts claim the new bug is even more powerful than the so-called 'super bug' - MRSA.

"This is one bad pathogen." said Dr. Leonard Greenman, Chief of Iniquitous Virology at the Center. "Not only is it resistant to antibiotics, it thrives on them. This thing would kick MRSA's butt and take its lunch money."

The Center's warning is specifically targeted to persons that have come in contact with brainstems of the red pileated tree lemur on the island of Nosy Mitsio, but stress that everyone on the planet could be at risk.

"We want to make sure everyone takes the proper precautions." said Dr. Mildred Canterburry, the Center's recognized pandemic expert. "Although we have not seen any cases in humans, we're certain that it is spread by touch. We recommend that people refrain from touching one another, and if they do find it necessary to touch someone, they should wash their hands immediately."

Doctors suspect that early symptoms may include drowsiness, a fluctuation in appetite, and sporadic itching. The Center suggests that anyone displaying these symptoms should immediately see their healthcare provider.

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