CEDAR FALLS, IA - Democratic presidential hopeful John Edwards today expressed his affinity toward the lesbian lifestyle during an Iowa campaign stop. Edwards made the disclosure while speaking before 20 to 25 members of the Northeast Iowa chapter
of the National Lesbian Rights Coalition. The candidate, who has maintained that he is more in touch with women's issues than any other presidential hopeful, revealed a new side of himself for the first time in public.
"I've always been attracted to women." said Edwards, thoughtful and trembling during the statement. "And as the candidate closest to being a woman, we share that unbreakable bond. And if I am elected President, I vow to carry our struggle as lesbians with me to the White House."
"At first, frankly, I was quite surprised." said Edward's wife Elizabeth, who is battling breast cancer. "But I'm proud he had the courage to admit who he is. John's always had a feminine side, with the hair and the makeup and all. But this shows true conviction. He's a strong woman."
Critics argue Edward's epiphany may be insincere. "This is obviously shameless pandering." said a disheveled GOP delegate, who spoke to us on the condition of anonymity. "He's appearing at a pork producer's convention tomorrow. He'll probably claim he's a ham sandwich."
When asked about the criticism, Ms. Edwards - who is battling breast cancer - was quick to point out the support her husband received from the NLRC. "They have embraced him as one of their own. John is a lesbian now - pandering is for outsiders."
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