REDMON, WA - Savvy entrepreneur Richie Fellows has reached an agreement with a European conglomerate to sell his massive online enterprise for $1 trillion dollars. The sale, which has been rumored for months,
will become final pending approval by the Securities and Exchange Commission. Pending the transaction, Mr. Fellows will become what is believed to be the world's first trillionaire.
 Mr. Fellows' on-line empire, Things.com, has skyrocketed in popularity
in recent years, combining online shopping through every online retail outlet, instant access to every online media outlet, and personal web pages of every man, woman and child on the face of the Earth.
"They say every person that goes online in a given day will visit Things.com at least once." said Fellows. "I don't know if that's true, but it's got to be close." Recent data has Things.com receiving one billion hits per day.
Representatives of the European conglomerate would not speak with The Daily Redundancy directly, but did whisper behind a large plant in the lobby. When asked about the unimaginably huge price tag, the official whispered:
"It's simple math, really. When you're reaching a billion people a day, it doesn't take that long to get to a trillion."
Experts, though, point out that the title of 'World's First Trillionaire' shouldn't be bandied about so carelessly. "The riches of some ancient empires may dwarf a trillion in today's dollars." says Weston Stoneturner,
professor of Macroeconomic Archeology at Howyflyl University. "The entire riches of the Incan and Egyptian empires were in the hands of one person. You apply all that gold at today's prices, and you're talking some serious simoleons."
In the meantime, Mr. Fellows doesn't foresee much of a change in his lifestyle. "I might buy a new boat." he said with a wry smile. "And maybe a nice boat slip with a Caribbean island around it."
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