CLEARWATER, FL - Hooters Restaurants - long known for their chicken wings and scantily clad waitresses - will soon have breasts on their menu as well. "People have always associated Hooters with wings" says Cleve Ogler, Hooters Marketing Director. "From now on, we hope that when people think of Hooters, they'll think of breasts as well."
 Steve "Johnny" Baker, owner of the local franchise, thinks it's a great idea. "We were just throwing them away!" he says of the meaty portion attached to the wing. "This should really pick up our bottom line.
We're always looking for innovative ways to attract customers. This is the best thing since orange satin."
Critics, though, think the new addition may be a little over-the-top. "Aren't there enough of those things [breasts] in there already?" says Gilda Sinchedhair, food advocate and founding member of the Top Button Society. "I happen to know that a lot of men go in there just to look at them [breasts]. Now they can have them for dinner - and take some home too! Where will it end?
Ogler and Baker insist their restaurants are just interested in good, clean fun and great food. "We're not trying to be suggestive." insisted Ogler, when questioned during a break in the judging of the bikini contest semifinals. "We're just trying to make our menu competitive." When asked if future menus may include legs and thighs, Baker responded: "Are you serious? There are legs and thighs too?"
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