| Councilman Issues Apology Apology Apology |
MARYSTOWN, PA - At a press conference today Councilman Benjamin Moneypacker issued an apology apology apology stemming from an offensive statement made two weeks ago. "I sincerely regret excluding anyone from my apology apology last week", said Moneypacker, adding "I hope this can bring closure to this unfortunate misunderstanding."
Illiteracy groups were outraged when Moneypacker's apology apology was issued as a written press release. "We just couldn't read the darn thing." said Frank Frump, Executive Director of The Illiteracy Movement
in an e-mail statement to The Daily Redundancy. "I'm told that he apologized to everyone who might have been offended, but until he communicates that in a way that we can understand, we're just not sure that 'everyone' includes us."
The apology apology issued by Moneypacker was in response to critics who argued his original apology was insincere. Moneypacker made an announcement shortly after the original incident, saying: "I sincerely apologize to anyone who may have been offended by my remarks."
"Councilman Moneypacker made a blanket statement" said Freda Sniveler, Professor of Forgiveness Studies at Howyflyl University. "If he truly wanted forgiveness from anyone whom he may have offended, he would have found out who they were and named them specifically."
"That's why I wrote it down" explained Moneypacker, "I wanted to make sure I didn't leave anyone out." The original apology was in response to an incident at a meeting of The Halitosis Society, where Moneypacker was overheard using the term 'death breath'. Moneypacker claims he did not know the microphone that recorded the slur was turned on.
© 2007 - The Daily Redundancy
