DUMPWATER, FL - The District 5 semifinal was called late in the fourth quarter when a melee broke out between the players that quickly escalated, involving fans of both teams as well.
"They went spider monkey on us!" said Bruce Chestbarrel, Head Coach of the Crullers of South High. The trouble began when visiting Bearclaws players, apparently frustrated with the 77-0 score,
began throwing manure at the home team.
 A large livestock show prior to the game - sponsored by
Big Mickey's Burger Palace - had left the field littered with fresh paddies. When the Bearclaws began hurling them, Crullers players immediately responded in kind and fans began emptying the stands to join in the fray until broken
up by Big Mickey and his employees. No serious injuries were reported
Bearclaws players claim the Crullers had been taunting them most of the second half. "They would wait until I was right by a big pile before they would tackle me" said Tyrone Shoelaces, the
Bearclaws tailback. "They may have been the better team, but I'll be darned if they were going to rub our noses in it."
"We were both playing under the same conditions" responded
Chestbarrel. "Our team was in it up to their ears as well."
"It's going to be a long bus ride home" lamented Bearclaws Coach Don Facepillows. "The players and alumni wanted to protest the livestock show prior to the game, but I think it's best to move on
and go home - because right now we just stink."
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