LOS ANGELES, CA - In response to Airbus' A380 and Boeing's 797 - the latest trends in commercial aviation - Northrop Grumman has announced plans to enter the passenger
plane market with the world's first 'muscle plane'. Officials of the fighter jet manufacturer are confident many fliers will opt away from the 500 to 1000 passenger giants for
something smaller with a little more style and 'pep'.
 "Why ride in a Greyhound bus when you
can roll in a Corvette?" says Josh 'Skippy' Freshface, Director of Marketing for Northrop. "Besides", he adds, "you spend most of the time sitting on the tarmac anyway, so you
might as well be sitting in a sweet ride. Kinda like cruising!"
Preliminary designs reveal what amounts to a huge engine with small passenger pods, much like the muscle cars
of old - whose hoods were cut open to allow for the massive power plants. Insulation and vibration dampers common in other planes will be omitted so passengers can
experience the rumble of the engines.
Critics, however, warn of the possible harmful effects to the environment, the poor, and people with low self-esteem. "This thing will be louder than all get out!" says Anita
Manbadd, Executive Director of The Council to Protect the Environment, the Poor, and People with Low Self-Esteem, located in Beverly Hills. "Many animals and poor people live
near airports, I'm told. Noises that are louder than what they are accustomed to may cause them to become confused and wander out onto the runway." Another cause of concern,
says Manbadd, are the passengers of other planes. "Some people may see this plane and immediately feel inadequate about the plane they are in." she says, adding "And they will
be trapped with these feelings of low self esteem until their plane lands."
"Sure, it's loud, uses a lot of fuel, and not everyone can afford to ride it", says Freshface, "But what the heck!" Advance ticket sales are reported to be brisk.
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