ORLANDO, FL - Former baseball great Roger Clemens today denied allegations he is dating Miley Cyrus, a.k.a. Disney's Hannah Montana. The allegations stem
from excerpts released from an upcoming book by Jose Canseco, entitled 'Juiced 2 - Supersized'...
(full story here)
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NEW HAVEN, CT - A nationwide furniture manufacturer has been named in a massive class-action lawsuit filed today in federal court.
Ashley Furniture Industries was notified of the $700 million suit by federal prosecutors in Connecticut...
(full story here)
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EL PASO, TX - A little known domestic terrorist group has become a major target of the Department of Homeland Security in recent months. The group,
known as the Tumbleweed Liberation Front, or TLF, is a militant environmentalist faction with cells throughout the western states. TLF has been linked to hundreds of acts of sabotage and property damage - destroying buildings, fences and other man-made obstacles to the tumbling sagebrushes...
(full story here)
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NORFOLK, VA - Ingrid Newberg, executive director of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, faced a chorus of calls for her resignation today as she was engulfed in
a meat-eating scandal involving a high-priced butcher...
(full story here)
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PLAINS, GA - The serenity of this sleepy southwest Georgia town was shattered overnight by a rocket attack from a militant extremist group. Up to fifteen
rockets were fired on the town, setting brushfires, scattering chickens and badly damaging a thirteen foot sculpture, allegedly the world's second largest peanut...
(full story here)
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PITTSBURGH, PA - In a calculated political move, Republican presidential hopeful John McCain today endorsed the campaigns of both
Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama. Staff members say McCain will actively campaign for whichever candidate 'needed him the most'...
(full story here)
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HOLLYWOOD, CA - Paula Abdul's trademark starry-eyed gushing continued well after the production of 'American Idol' at an after party in Jason's, a nearby drinking establishment. Paula was moved to tears after a
lengthy performance by Phil, the head bartender, and had difficulty finding the words to express her appreciation...
(full story here)
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NEW YORK, NY - The United Nations today passed a resolution apologizing on behalf of the human race to Neanderthal man, for "egregious and shameful" treatment in the past. Anthropologists have known for years that modern man disenfranchised Neanderthals from ancient society to the extent
that they caused their extinction...
(full story here)
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SAN ANTONIO, TX - A nationwide competition to determine America's favorite local television news personality has resulted in a victory for a popular San Antonio assignment reporter.
Kim Fischer, of WOAI Channel 4, edged out Sonia Baghdady of WTNH New Haven in the finals to take the top honors. Ms. Fischer began the competition in a field of 32 contestants from coast-to-coast,
in an elimination bracket that ran from February 18 through March 10.
(full story here)
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LAS VEGAS, NV - Nearly thirteen years after promising to hunt down the real killers of his estranged wife Nicole and her friend Ron Goldman, O.J. Simpson announced today that there has been a breakthrough in his investigation. After sifting through voluminous
evidence from his own trial, Simpson has determined that the pair was killed with a large knife. Additionally, Simpson believes the crime scene evidence indicates the killer was "short, probably white, and not very athletic."...
(full story here)
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SAN JOSE, CA - Hundreds of angry programmers took to the streets burning Indian flags, and chanting anti-Indian slogans after Wednesday morning production meetings. The protesters - mostly young males - have reached a boiling point after years of
technological imperialism and failed Indian programming policies...
(full story here)
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BENTONVILLE, AR - A proposed amendment to the $170 billion economic stimulus package could save billions of dollars and infuse the economy even faster than
originally anticipated. Arkansas Senator William S. Walton is recommending that lawmakers take the main idea of the package - putting money in the hands of those who would spend it quickly - a step further by sending the entire amount directly to Wal-Mart...
(full story here)
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ZANESVILLE, OH - The increasingly spirited race for the Democrat Presidential nomination took a dark turn today with stunning allegations from the Clinton campaign. Speaking at a
rally in this blue-collar town outside of Columbus, Mrs. Clinton made references to Barack Obama's ethnic origins, insinuating that her opponent may be African-American...
(full story here)
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HOLLYWOOD, CA - The House Oversight and Government Reform Committee has announced that an investigation will be launched to address charges of substance abuse by pop
superstar Britney Spears. Spears has been involved in several incidents of bizarre behavior during the past year, but vehemently denies use of any eccentric performance enhancing drugs...
(full story here)
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LOS ANGELES, CA - The popular NBC game show 'Deal or No Deal' has thrilled audiences with ordinary people randomly choosing cases containing randomly placed amounts of money - or so they would have you believe. The Daily Redundancy has obtained information
that the placement of the prize amounts may not be completely arbitrary after all...
(full story here)
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INDIANAPOLIS, IN - In recent months several sports publications and websites have sponsored surveys for readers to vote on the NFL's best looking cheerleaders. While the results varied from poll to poll, few published results beyond the top ten,
and none listed girls who received little or no votes. In an effort to raise awareness of girls forgotten by these polls, The Daily Redundancy has combined the results to recognize the NFL's 10 homeliest cheerleaders.
See poll results HERE
(full story here)
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